Workingman's Blues No2

Hello there. I've been too busy to update this for a while. I'm surprised that the internet hasn't imploded due to the fact that i've been absent...How on earth can the internet continue without my musings? God knows. However, more seriously, I came back from Lowlands. I had a wicked time there. Jack White and the Raconteurs are absolutely amazing. Jack White seems to do no wrong- how on earth is he able to play guitar like that?

I also Bought Modern Times by Bob Dylan. Another solid record from the man. Workingman Blues No2 is one of his best songs IMO. I've been listening to it a lot since i bought it. Definately one of his better songs and I love his piano playing in it (for once). Dylan has released another great record which can only be criticised when one compares to his classic albums of the 1960s and 1970s. You can see the iTunes advert for Modern Times here. Or you can listen to an audio streaming of Modern Times here. There is also a video starring Scarlet Johansson of 'When the Deal Goes Down', a song from Modern Times, which you can see here.

Anyway. Read my Rockbeatstone article on Tapes n Tapes' album, The Loon.

The Lyrics afor Workingman Blues are not yet up on Dylan's website

The festival was over, the boys were all plannin' for a fall

I am going on holiday tomorrow after work. I am going to Holland to attend the Lowlands Music Festival. This will now be my sixth year. It such a great festival, all the big UK bands without the big crowds, it also focuses on up-and-coming acts rather than established ones, so there's always something randomnly entertaining to find. There is no better feeling than being blown away by a band that you've never heard of. They also have hot showers and have even introduced a coffee to your tent service which sounds amazing. It is far more civilised than English festivals.

If you're interested in the festival, you can see some photos here of what it has been like in the past. Here is some of the line-up...(drum roll):

!!!

iForward Russia!

Arctic Monkeys

Be Your Own Pet

Belle & Sebastian

Bloc Party

Dirty Pretty Things

DJ Shadow

The Dead 60s

Fun Lovin' Criminals

Guillemots

Hot Chip

Iggy & the Stooges (v.excited!)

The Kooks

Less than Jake

Massive Attack

Muse

The Magic Numbers

Panic! At the Disco

Placebo

Razorlight

The Raconteurs

Scissor Sisters

The Streets

Wolfmother

Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Zero 7

Lily, Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts

Oh, to be back in the land of Coca-Cola!

This weekend I was thinking about Coca Cola. Firstly they have produced a new exciting cola called Coke Zero which as far as I can tell is what used to be called Diet Coke. The problem they had was that only girls bought Diet Coke so they had to rebrand it for men.

I was then reading the sunday newspapers when a full-page advert told me that Coca Cola were listening to consumers concerns and releasing a smaller size bottle. Now call me a cynic but didn't we used to have that anyway. It was called a 'can' (or' tin' if you were a kid in the 1950s) and it was small but at the time seemed the right amount of liquid to refresh yourself. Then the company came and introduced those massive bottles (which are pretty much standard), before reintroducing the smaller size (this time as a bottle and not a can) and claiming that it is a revolutionary move and that they're listening to our concerns.

Bollox. You're only giving us what we used to have. Still I bet the price has gone up. So they're not completly stupid. While we're on the topic of Coca Cola, here is Jack White's advert for the mega-company:

Still want more stuff to read/do. You can read a review of the Brian Jonestown Massacre at London's Koko and read/see the next installment of Rockbeatstone TV.

When I Paint my Masterpiece

They're planting stories in the press (again)

In this story, the BBC are asking us all to not take Jeremy Clarkson seriously. However, they seem to have overlooked the fact that he is a complete and utter knob.

There is nothing else to add... he quite simply is a dick.

Read some better internet stories like these reviews of mine. Here I review a CD release which is as pointless as Jeremy Clarkson, Blues by Bob Dylan (gasp!). Here's one by Hayley Taylor who has the talent to make it big someday. Then there's this review of Left by Hope of the States, and this one by Okkervil River which really is a bit special. Been playing the Loon by tapes n Tapes for a few days now, it rocks - expect a review soon.

Idiot Wind (again)

There was a movie I seen one time, I think I sat through it twice

A guy posted this on a internet message board that I frequent. The topic was about the funniest scenes in film. I really want to see this now. It made me spit out my tea at the computer screen. It is from a Woody Allan Film, where he's chatting up a girl at an art gallery.

Allan: That's quite a lovely Jackson Pollack, isn't it?

Girl: Yes, it is.

Allan: What does it say to you?

Girl: It restates the negativeness of the universe. The hideous lonely emptiness of existence. Nothingness. The predicament of Man forced to live in a barren, Godless eternity like a tiny flame flickering in an immense void with nothing but waste, horror and degradation, forming a useless bleak straitjacket in a black absurd cosmos.

Allan: What are you doing Saturday night?

Girl: Committing suicide.

Allan: What about Friday night?


Brownsville Girl

Well, the comic book and me, just us, we caught the bus.

I went to see Superman Returns at the weekend. It was OK, nice special effects and an enjoyable action film. The trouble is that he is too strong, the only thing that gets him is Kryptonite so every film/comic/cartoon has featured the radioactive rock/crystal as the key to the story. Gets a bit boring after a while.

Otherwise he is so strong that it gets dull - even the Terminator would loose in a fight against the Superman. And probably the Alien, Predator, Spiderman, Batman, Catwoman - All of them would die in a fight against Superman.

I prefer Batman. What he's achieved is down to hard work, engineering, the gym and a very big inheritance (probably that is the key factor here - even in Superhero world money is a driving force). Superman just has it all - it is far too easy.

Yea! Heavy and a Bottle of Bread

When the devil calls your cards

Hello there. I've been sorry that I haven't been updating this website as much as i'd like to recently. This is because I was in France for a friend's wedding (congratulations). It was a good weekend. And i've been super-busy at work and the sun has beating down on this non-airconditioned, glass-roofed office for too long now. By the end of the day (when I usually write this drivel) I'm so brain dead I can't write.

You may have noticed that i've added a banner to the right of my blog. This takes you through to the campaign site of a group against the introduction of ID cards in Britain. I'm not paranoid, not a freak, not some weirdo, I'm just afraid of what this will mean. As a French citizen I have to carry an ID card, but it is so far removed from the proposed UK scheme.

The UK scheme means that the government will be able to know 49 key personal characteristics about me (including biometric data such as my fingerprints). There will be a database which will cross reference existing databases so a complete picture of my life can (and will) be formed. I will be forced to use my card when I go to the doctor, take out a credit card, borrow from the library, go on holiday. All of this will allow the government to know more and more about me and you. I will have to have an interview with a government representative when I eventually am forced into obtaining a card which to be frank disgusts me. And what happens when the government makes a mistake (which they will) and i'm stopped by the police because the database says that i'm evil yet i've done nothing wrong. No, no, no, with the government's record in computer projects (see NHS, DCA computer projects running years behind or when they put thousands of innocent people on the criminal register by mistake) it has the potential to be horrible.

Plus there is the fact that this is going to cost billions and billions of pounds which would be better spent on providing air conditioning on the tube, better health care, better schools, more social housing, more international aid - basically anything but this. Even the home office thinks that the scheme will cost £200 per tax-payer (and they are likely to be conservative in their estimates).

This scares me because I thought everyone had read George Orwell, yet I hear few dissenting voices. I'm scared that we're sleepwalking into a police state, it seems that there are few people discussing this out in the open...we need a national debate surrounding this issue. Let's not let the government tell us about the terrorist threat, id fraud and all that bollocks. It is just propaganda so that we can accept the most intrusive personal relationship that any state has ever had with its people. Even Kim Jong-Ill doesn't know as much about his people, and he's a lunatic.

Don't believe me, think i'm crazier than a loon? Please read the facts then get back to me. This is more than left/right politics. It is about my freedom as a human being and a fundamental shift in the relationship between the government and myself.

Watcha Gonna Do?

Lord, she took it away to Italy

Well done to Italy on their World Cup win. I think that on balance they were the team that most deserved this victory. Their play in the knock-out stages has been exceptional. Boo-hiss to Zidane who is quite obviously retarded. If you get so wound up that you have to headbutt someone then something is terribly wrong. I mean at any level of football there are people winding you up - it is part of the game. What an idiot. And people keep saying how it is so out of character and they may be right but I remember that in the World Cup of 1998 he stamped on the chest of a Saudi Arabian player and was sent off but I seem to be the only one who remembers that... People have selective memories - especially French people.

So back to the domestic league soon. In a way it is always nice to get back to the normality of a domestic league after a world cup or euro competition. You may remeber that I support Southampton FC and you may remember that I wrote a post on Rupert Lowe, the most inept chief executive of a football club since records began. Well he left his post a few days ago and we've got new management and one of the first things they did was to buy Sean Wright Phillips' younger brother Bradley. This is a good move and I wish him the best. Let's hope that it marks a new beginning for the club. First match is August 6 2006 (only 3 and a bit weeks away) against Derby (away). Let's hope that we can play better than England did and return to our rightful place in the Premiership.

Read this review of Primal Scream's Riot City Blues. Its a rock and roll record and it is great.

Down the Highway

I shook his hand and said goodbye

Yo! I've been in mourning because England were complete and utter rubbish. This is despite the fact that I secretly had a feeling that the England team were going to flop. Goodbye Sven. I'm glad to see the back of you, not because you're a foreign coach, not because you were payed too much, not because you were always looking out for better paid jobs but because you, quite simply, were not good enough for the job.

I wish you luck in your new job with Jamaica or South Africa or whoever offers you a job. Laters. I think that Italy will win the World Cup (in fact they will wipe the floor with France). But my predictions have been rubbish (I came 2nd from bottom in our office prediciton game), so don't listen to me.

Rockbeatstone is back up and running and we've been adding some new stuff. Firstly we've improved the newsblog with a new gig guide section. Secondly, I've had these articles added: a review of the Triffids rerelease, Born Sandy Devotional (good names, less than good music), a live review of Hope of the States at Koko in Camden and two video playlists (with a world cup special).

Bob Dylan's 115th Dream

Expecting all the gifts that wise men bring

It’s that time of the year again, it is time for the Henotbusybeingbornisbusydying merit badge to be awarded to a man of exceptional virtue and someone who really deserves a pat on the back. After the tube workers who received it last time, is going to billionaire philanthropist Warren Buffett. He’s busy organising how he and Bill Gates can solve the problems of the third world. He’s given the Bill Gates Foundation over $37 billion. So well done Mr Buffett. However, not all are happy, including a certain, Mr J Grant Swank. This is why the internet is wrong it gives people who are crazier than a loon a ‘voice’.

In other news this week and somewhat on a completely different tangent. Aaron Speilling, the world’s most prolific television producer has died. He, somewhat perversely for the millions who digested his programmes, did television that predominately dealt with the lives of the beautiful, rich and famous. He did stuff like TJ Hooker, Starsky & Hutch, Beverley Hills 90210, Melrose Place, Charlies Angles and Love Boat. All a pile of crap (except TJ Hooker on a few rare occasions) but the people loved it. He also worked closely with Heather Locklear on numerous occassions, so can be considered a jammy bastard for that as well.

Before he passed away he should have done a soap based on Warren Buffett’s life who is rich and famous (but not really beautiful), it maybe would have led to more people being generous with their accumulated wealth as of when they leave this world. Who knows.

Henotbusybeingbornisbusydying Merit Badge holders:

• The 2 tube workers who I like.
• Warren Buffett.

(It is just like a Blue Peter badge, except it is a theoretical pat on the back and you don't get a discount in museums and stuff.)

Love Minus Zero/No Limit

Myself, for what I did, I cannot be excused

The World Cup is great. Loads of footie every night, teams and players that you know little about and stars in the making and stars on the decline. It truly is the best thing in World sport. No question.

At this World Cup, a certain Thierry Henry has once again been mouthing off at the injustice of his team's poor performances. After the first match (a 0-0 draw against Switzerland) he blamed his team mate Frank Ribery for the team's failure. After the second match (a 1-1 draw against the mighty giants of South Korea), he blamed the ref. This isn't a new phenomenon for Henry. After the Champions League final against Barcelona he proceeded to claim that the ref spoiled the match (Arsenal had a player rightly sent off) and then claimed that Barcelona were rubbish ("Where was Eto?" he asked. The commentator should have pointed out that he was there - he scored a goal). He was a bad looser and disrespectful to both the opposition and the competition. This has added to my hatred of the French football team.

Those who know me on a personal level will point out that I am French. This is true, but after having spent my secondary school years in a school in France, you tend to hate the French sporting excuses. All you would hear were excuses fed by the French media and the French players. Never did anyone stand up and take responsibility. All I would hear were excuses as to why the French team in question lost to an English one (Until recently, a French team had never beaten an English one over two legs in a European competition). So when I see Henry in the press and on the pitch making excuses for himself, blaming everyone but himself, I go into a rage and I see those French kids who were being spoon-fed their excuses by the French media and the French players repeating their ludicrous claims.

Thierry Henry's attitude represents all that is wrong with French football. I hope that they don't qualify. Can't wait to hear what excuses they come up with then.

Ballad in Plain D

The weather was hot, a-nearly 90 degrees

Ahhhhrrggh. I've deleted my post..Bloody thing. Its far too hot for me to even blog properly and it's fuckin' easy to blog. So this is a second draft from my head...and it doesn't feel as good as the first one.

World Cup update: Australia beat Japan 3-1 and the USA vs Czech Republic is just starting (2nd Update... Jan Koller has scored for Czech Republic.

Weather is far too hot to do any work. In fact it has made me reassess the real value of the England team performance at the weekend. The first half of my day I was all proactive and stuff, producing real "management solutions" (TM, official business speak). Now I have spent all afternoon in a pool of sweat wondering about nothing. No wonder the England team melted away in the 2nd half, it is exactly what is happening to my brain. Still no excuses for the shambolic management decisions taken by Sven in the 2nd half though. Unless he caught the sun while he was sunbathing...naked. You know he does it, he is Swedish after all. Now try and get the mental image out of your head....you can't can you. Now ask yourself this, why did Ulrika choose to see this image for real?

My article on the Zutons' new album, Tired of Hanging Around has been syndicated to Blogcritics.org. In turn it was syndicated to a group of regional US websites which means that hicks in the middle of America (ie: the Red States) are now reading my review. This is most amusing. See an example from Cleveland here (you'll need to scroll down).

Day of the Locusts

King of the streets, child of clay.

Why the sopranos is the best television ever.

I, and many others, are of the firm belief that the Sopranos is the greatest thing to have ever graced the small screen. You want to know why we think that? Its for the following reasons:

1) The acting. Some superb performances. The acting from Gandolfini is, as would be expected, great. Some nice acting from the psychatrist (who played the wife in Goodfellas) and Steve Van Zandt (who is also a member of Bruce Springsteen's E-Street band and a rock and roll entrepreneur).

2) But as much as the acting is great, the casting is better, inspired almost.

3) The cameos are good but not too over the top. Frank Sinatra junior plays a card game, Steve Buscemi becomes instantly brilliant as Tony's cousin in series five.

4) The dialogue is where it really excels. The humour, the violence, the mannerisms are all there and all perfectly measured.

5) The plot. It builds over time, they are not obsessed with having a cliché ridden crescendo at the end of every episode (see 24 and lost).

6) It is almost Shakesperian in complexity. The Sopranos can be watched over and over again and there are still elements which reveal themselves, themes which have been in place and built upon for more than five series now.

7) The Soundtrack is absolutely fine. The songs are always great and well chosen for the particular moments. The two soundtracks are well worth a listen.

8) The violence is real. Not Die Hard fake OTT fighting but reality, cold, brutal and shocking. It is all the better for this.

I am a firm believer that the Sopranos will be watched again in hundreds of years as the classic turn of the century drama. More than a drama it will be viewed as art. And I do measure my words there. ART. There quite simply is no other mainstream or not recent television drama which comes close to the complexity and beauty of this series.

Read some more of my stuff. You can find out what happended at Primal Scream's new record launch party here on Sunday night. You can read about Bruce Springsteen's Seeger obsession here and you can read all about English World Cup songs here. Plus you can watch some cool videos here.

Joey

Jokerman dance to the nightingale tune

Recently, I’ve been completely obsessed by the blog/website Who Ate All the Bratwurst. This website has a comedy take on the world cup and England’s chances. It also has some mean videos including Peter Crouch dancing like a robot at David Beckham’s party and even rapping like an MC. This is truly worth a look. You will not be dissapointed.

In other related news, my good friend from Italy, Paolo (aka Roving Gambler) has started a proper blog about music and stuff. He’s a journalist but an Italian one, just ignore the occasional grammatical errors (hey, we all do it, I’m sure some of these posts are non-sensical).

Have a good weekend, practice your Peter Crouch moves before you unleash them on the dancefloor this Saturday. If Peter Crouch scores at the World Cup and does the dance he will become the cult-hero of the tournament. I have this vision of a small boy in a poor country at the otherside of the world seeing the lanky Peter Crouch score against Sweden and then do his dance and say, "Daddy when I grow up I want to be Peter Crouch both on and off the field". Wow! What a legend!

Jokerman

She went into the tailor shop and dressed in men's array

Hello.

Here is soem more stuff that I have written. There is an interview with up and coming London based band the Tailors. I've also written a review of the Charlatans at Brixton Academy.

Got some god awful family thing coming up this weekend. Wish me luck. At least I get a day off work tomorrow.

Jack-A-Roe

She was born in spring, but I was born too late

I almost forgot…it is Bob Dylan’s 65th Birthday today. Happy birthday Bob, may you stay forever young. Here are some quotes that have been put together on this Canadian website. 65 quotes on Bob Dylan. I chose the best ones and have repeated them here, so enjoy.

“The music that was popular when I was growing up was How Much Is That Doggie in the Window? and that wasn’t our reality. We were expecting an atomic explosion, and everything to disappear in a black cloud.” - Dylan 1961.

Mr. Dylan’s voice is anything but pretty. He is consciously trying to recapture the rude beauty of a Southern field hand musing in melody on his back porch.” —Robert Shelton, New York Times, Sept 1961.

Reporter: “Does it take a lot of trouble to get your hair like that?” Dylan: “No, you just have to sleep on it for about 20 years." —Sydney Morning Herald, 1963.

“There are seven levels to the meaning of life.” —Paul McCartney, after getting stoned on marijuana with Dylan during the Beatles’ 1964 U.S. tour.

“I got so crazy I thought he was the new Messiah.” —Allen Ginsberg, 1968.

“I hate to see female artists perform because they whore themselves. Especially the ones that don’t wear anything.” —Dylan, 1988.

Simple Twist of Fate

She got movies inside her head

There are some adverts which just shouldn’t be displayed next to each other. As seen on the tube today, there is an advert for the children’s film (or adult film, it’s so hard to know nowadays with almost the entire adult population going mad over Harry Potter) Curious George. There is nothing wrong with this apart from the fact that Will Ferrell is in it and there are songs by Jack Johnson (or John Jackson, again I get confused).

But what makes this wrong is the fact that it is placed right bang next to United 93. This film is based around the events of September 11 and the hijacking of a plane. And this isn’t an isolated case, every single tube station has this advert combination. It just seems a bit...I don't know...wrong and weird. Imagine if you were deeply affected by September 11 and then you have this advert reminding you of the event while a massive monkey face is smiling right at you. Wouldn't that upset you?

Hero Blues

Adulterers in churches and pornography in the schools

The title doesn't have much to do with what I am about to post but I like the line. Quite in your face. House update: there is nothing to report, I still hate estate agents (see post below).

I other news, the Sun is reporting that a vicar went to the toilet during his service but forgot that he had a radio microphone attached to himself. The whole congregation heard him taking a slash. What an awkward moment. The guy, vicar-dude was called Rev John Howden. I pity the fool as Mr T used to say.

In other news, i've written a review of 'Living With War' by Neil Young. In your face George W Bush. Here is Mr T vs George W Bush. Read it, laugh, enjoy, ask yourself why does someone create this stuff, close internet window, cry for the future of humanity, go to bed and don't get up.

When You Gonna Wakeup?

Don't go mistaking paradise for that home across the road

Estate agents are wrong. In fact more than that, they are evil. Just wanted to get that off my chest. As you may know I'm looking to buy a house. It's pretty depressing, viewings every night after work and invariably they are all shit in someway or another. Estate agents don't give a damn about us because there are hundreds, if not thousands of couples like my g-friend and I looking for the same type of property at the same value. It really is a shoddy business and one which needs some radical reform. I mean why is the system so complicated and needlessly tedious and longwinded? There is no reason for this to be the case. But as usual in the UK it is all about tradition and keeping things the way they are.

Just my two cents, or whatever the yankee doodle saying is. It's not supposed to make sense, I'm just ranting my life away. Anyway the reasons why I haven't been posting here much is because I spend my spare internet time at 'interesting' property websites.

In American it is not 'estate agent' but 'real estate'. There is nothing real about it...It is so far from reality that it is untrue. Borrowing hundreds of thousands of pounds to purchase a small castle. Fucking bizarre if you ask me. 'Bizarre estate' is more like it.

Read my shit here/stuff about me because I am so vain:
The Zutons review (Tired of Hanging Around)
Bruce Springsteen review (Born to Run)
My photo of Will's obsession (sounds dirty but it isn't).

The Ballad of Frankie Lee and Judas Priest

What I want to know, Mr. Football Man

Breaking news!

What I want to know Sven is why you are quite obviously going bonkers. Four strikers in the squad = dangerous tactics, especially when two are currently nursing a broken foot, one has never played Premiership football and the other is Peter Crouch.

The naming of the national football team traditionally marks the beginning of silly season. The world cup is 32 days away. If you are a lady or American you may want to go into hiding, the world’s greatest football (that’s soccer to you friendly yanks) competition will be everywhere – even on the internet.

Fingers crossed that Sven isn’t drunk and that his decisions are part of some tactical masterplan. If he’s half as good with his tactics as he is with the ladies then we’ve got a chance. The only problem is that as I type the above sentence, I know that he isn’t. I am more and more worried about our chances. A few months ago I did say that we had a good chance, now with Rooney injured and some bizarre choices in the squad I am worried that we’re not even going to get close to that trophy. When asked about how he came to the decision on choosing his strikers Sven said (yes this is true) :

"Probably not too logically. Sometimes you do it on feelings as well and I am excited about Theo Walcott."

Let us just hope that he is talking about football. I guess we’ll have to just wait and see. One thing that is for sure, if David Beckham, Sven, Rooney or Walcott do so much as fart in public it will become front-page news. The World Cup is the time when everyone has an opinion on football. And that is a very sad thing, especially when people who have never even watched a game properly before start shouting their mouths off with formations, interesting factoids that they've picked up from Mrs Biggins at the corner shop, and other banalities that will have been said on BBC One's Breakfast news.

There are some more music reviews that I’ve done. Adem is Nu-folk and the Charlatans are currently Nu-funk (I guess). Read my reviews at Rockbeatstone. There’s also been some exciting design modifications with a new front page.

I Shall be Free