Wednesday, January 18, 2006

An' he just smoked my eyelids, An' punched my Cigarette

As my first post suggests, I recently stopped smoking. Now I know the underlying factors in my decision (the fact that my genetic material don’t seem to be too great in this department and money) but to counter this, there is the fact that I’m about to become a bit less cool than I was before. My scientific basis for this comes from these pictures below. First of all, a smoker:

Guitar hero Keef Richards smoked...alot. He is very cool.

Secondly, a non-smoker:

Friendly politician and Daily Express columnist Ann Widdecombe would never touch a cigarette. She is far from cool.
See. You cannot deny that non-smokers are as the yanks would say, "dorks". I’ve only stopped for 2.5 days so its early days yet but I have been using nicotine patches and don’t feel a thing, but I do think that I could be addicted to them, already. Herein lies the problem, I’m not sure how many patches I could fit on my body but I’m pretty sure that I could fit too many on. Also I remember reading somewhere that there is enough pure nicotine in a patch to kill someone – I just hope I don’t get the 0.01 percent which come out faulty and I die in some huge-spasm of energy as my brain explodes from nicotine overload. Nicotine patches are also expensive – more so than it was costing me to smoke (thanks to various trips to the EU and the fact that I smoke rollies) and they say you should go on a 12 week programme. Bollocks to that, I’m going to halve the length. But so far not smoking has been relatively easy, now I need to loose the addiction to patches.

But why did I start in the first place? It’s hard to tell, but time spent at university with the whacky-tobaccy didn’t help much. In fact the place where I went to University was so small and full of priviledged public schoolboy brats that it was pretty much the only good pastime. I have had some great time with cigarettes over the years. That first morning ciggie was always amazing and there’s nothing better to accompany a pint. I know I will miss it. Any reformed smoker who says that they did not enjoy smoking are liars – like any relationship that has ran its course, it's time to say goodbye. But I’ll never forget the good times.

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