Tuesday, January 31, 2006

They're Planting Stories in the Press

Another good thing about the internet is the amount of stupid stories that one can read. These are all true and, as with yesterday's article about adult nappies in China, come from a reputable source: Annanova.

A man returned home from a two week holiday to find a dead corpse on his sofa. The funniest thing about this (and all of the other stories) is not the story itself but the individuals who are quoted:
Whenever you go away for a couple of weeks, you always return home expecting to find that something has gone off, but it's usually a lump of cheese or slice of bread, not a dead body.
Thanks for that insight. State the obvious why don't you.

This next story is about a GP in New Zealand who has converted his medical centre into a high-class brothel. For all you readers from New Zealand, this is based in a place called Coopers Beach. Another hilarious quote from the GP turned pimp:
It's about providing a private service and maintaining confidentiality, which is what my medical practice was about - so it's not a big leap, really. Everything I have ever done is high quality. The standards of my medical practice were high and that will cross over to the brothel environment.
Hmm. Have to make a trip to New Zealand one day. But the hilarity doesn't stop there, the chair of the New Zealand GP council/stand up said that he thinks that this proves that medicine isn't the big earner people think it is. I don't know whether to laugh or cry anymore.
And finally, from the whacky world of Wakefield in the UK. A man lost his appetite when he read the list of ingriedients on the label of a packet of budget ham. The label said that the ham contained dogshit.
Obviously I haven't eaten it. It sort of puts you off. We spent 40 minutes laughing. But we haven't put any in the kids' sandwiches and we had something else for our tea.
I'm glad they had something else, just to be on the safe side. With newspapers complaining of falling readership, why don't they print these stories? I'm sure that this would be a surefire way of beating back the inevitable decline of mass print newspapers. Ultimately, these stories reveal more about our society than celebrity Big Brother, the war in Iraq and climate change stories do.

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